APART (© John MacLean 2009)
Each of us had dreams of love
Some of us still do
Some dreams are full-deferred
Some with luck come true...

Crimson moon rises now
Casting bitter light
Engines cough then roar awake
Eager for the fight
We climb inside the metal beast
It rises to the air
Each soldier touches home inside
I say a silent prayer
Hoping God is guarding you
If he indeed exists
I strain to still believe he does
But hope he will hear this

May every man with me tonight
Return with beating heart
And may this war soon be o'er that keeps us so apart

Silver blades claw the air
As we prepare to fight
Smoke and fire, blood and fear
Will burst into the night
But here I see you on our steps
Freckles on your skin
So fragile are these bodies
That hold our hearts within
Now I look around me
Beneath grim masks I see
Tremors born out of fear
Just like inside of me

All our thoughts turn to now as swiftly we descend
Yet in our rush to reckoning this to you I send
A prayer for you and for the son whom I have never seen
May he have eyes just like yours a shade of emerald green and

May every man with me tonight
Return with beating heart
And may this war soon be o'er that keeps us so apart
Song List

BALTIMORE (© John MacLean 2004; with thanks to Steve Tilston)
She rode the train from Lawyers' Hill
He sailed from Halifax
Her journey home but one short hour
For both there was no turning back
Two separate roads boldly taken
Crossed near the waterside
A glance and smile and a heartbeat
Forever changed two lives

He dreamed of fame and fortune
She of Paris and Rome
Those dreams were detoured in Baltimore
And there they made their home

The blue-eyed raven-haired beauty
And her dashing handsome Scot
Believed their deepest dreams fulfilled
But in truth they sadly were not
The lovers discovered in marriage
His ambition and her love of gin
Would drive him away until late at night
And slowly do her in

Before all tumbled to ruin
Children's laughter rang out there
But the dark secret slowly twisted
Young dreams into growing despair
So a boy and a girl with blue eyes
And two more with the darkest brown
Learned well the lessons of imperfect love
Before each of them left town

The long ago star crossed lovers
Were once again all on their own
They lived out their lives together
While each in fact lived quite alone
With their passing not one single sibling
In the city was to be found
But there were long nights spent remembering
One's bitter and sweet hometown

Some have found fame and fortune
The others restlessly roam
But all visit the graveside in Baltimore
The town that will always be home

She rode the train from Lawyers' Hill
He sailed from Halifax
Song List

BEYOND OUR TIME (© John MacLean 2006)    {Garageband Best Folk Melody Week of 1/12/09, Best Folk Lyrics Week of 2/23/09}
I don't believe in God
I don't believe in ghosts
I do believe we live beyond our time
You won't find me in Heaven
I hope I'm not in Hell
I might be in our daughters' hearts and minds

And what will they remember?
What tales will they tell?
Will they recall sudden words of anger
Or draw softer tears from memory's well?

By the end of every day
I try to find a way
To give those girls reason to sleep well
But it's sometimes hard work praised
Sometimes voices raised
And sometimes we need a final bell

And what will they remember?
What tales will they tell?
Will they recall sudden words of anger
Or draw softer tears from memory's well?

Don't you hope that as they sleep
Our children only keep
Visions of happiness and light?
Alas it's surely true
The brush at times holds blue
As those dreamers paint memories at night

And what will they remember?
What tales will they tell?
Will they recall sudden words of anger
Or draw softer tears from memory's well?

I don't believe in God
I don't believe in ghosts
I do believe we live beyond our time
Song List

COURAGE TO CARE (© John MacLean 2007)
You've slipped in again like late autumn wind
Cool respects to pay
Even though it was years ago
You quietly stole away
I still see your eyes flashing angry
Warnings that never will end
While you were never much good for a smile
You were good to us all 'til the end

Beneath that mask of iron will
And coke spoon so debonair
Lay a girl who lost all her dreams
But still had courage to care

His cocaine and wine went down fine
Chaser to marriage gone bad
But you never let your new best friend
Touch the real friends you had
You were just so terrified
Of ending up old and unknown
You held him so tight most every night
In a bed that wasn't your own

You tried to be strong but then in the end
After two years clean and alone
You took every pill then took your leave
While sitting next to the phone

My turn to leave sweet Annie
Pardon I do gently pray
Your visit begs such solitude
And this is our family day
Unlike you I did find love
Laughter rings out in this home
But I won't forget you never found
A family of your very own

Beneath that mask of iron will
And coke spoon so debonair
Lay a girl who lost all her dreams
But still had courage to care
Song List

FARAWAY FRIENDS (© John MacLean 2004)
I was long on the road and lonely
At Sandy's in the old Empire State
So after my songs were over
I stayed even though it was late
Sandy opened a Miller and dark Guinness Stout
Her east Texas black and tan
I moved to the farthest barstool
And reflected as I sometimes can.

The miles and years are many
Since I left my hometown
But I still wish I could find a way
To gather my old friends around

We were the damnedest collection of shipwrecked fools
Each nursing a big broken heart
Our collective convictions were failing
As our worlds were falling apart
We'd gather together to sing out some songs
Drink a cold frosty beer or two
Go out to bars and ballgames
And together we somehow got through

The miles and years are many
Since I left my hometown
But I still wish I could find a way
To gather my old friends around

They helped me to see that there could be light
In the midst of a dark bitter end
By showing how strongly they felt that I was
Worth having as one of their friends

I never told them they gave me the courage
To risk going so far away
And how that farewell courage they gave me
Makes me miss them to this very day
By the time Sandy softly bid me goodnight
My thoughts had become hard earned verse
I set those words to music
Laid 'em plain for better or worse

And so my long ago faraway friends
You helped me to write this song
When I sing it I'm saying what I should have said
When I long ago said so long

Oh the miles and the years are many
Since I left my old hometown
But at times when I sing you are right here with me
Old friends we have gathered around
Song List

FIRST MET YOU (© John MacLean 2004)
Oh so many years on the run
Chances lost one by one
Chased by the past, future too
Until that evening I first met you

Childhood full of sunny days to keep
But also shadows that still cut deep
I learned to trust, but not too far
I just thought that was the way things are

As a young man I tried to build
Sturdy bonds but instead dreams I killed
The part of me I would not share
Proved much more than love could bear

So to this northland I moved away
To live out quiet and reflective days
Held scant hope of love anew
Until that evening I first met you

And though I write this song in room alone
You and our daughters fill this sturdy home
The day you opened up your heart to mine
Marks the end of my running time

What did I ever do to so deserve
Your constant love behind that calm reserve?
With love that's broken almost all the chains
And put peace in place of all the pain

I fear at times I am still too reserved
But your touch tells me your heart feels well served
As for my heart, it's been yours it's true
Ever since that night I first met you
Song List

HERE'S TO THE LIVING (© John MacLean 2004) 
Loved ones lost, they won't be back
Countless more, dressed in black
With clouded eyes and faces drawn
Memories search for faces ever gone
But before shock even sets full in
Snake oil salesmen slither in
With hearts of tin worn on their sleeves
They sleekly comfort those who grieve
As they steal our hearts, feed on our dread
And slyly defile our newly dead

So here's to the living
Those who survive
Who fill the holes in shattered lives
Shattered lives

On that day you lose your loved one
Learn you're left all on your own
The strength to rise will come from
Those you love and long nights alone
Not weeping words from perfect strangers
Softly whispering their perfect lies
Not righteous prayers from sly shape changers
Who pray with hooded eyes
We're better off not even mourning
For those Judases to see

Yes here's to the living
Those who survive
Who fill the holes in shattered lives
Their shattered lives
Song List

LIAR'S WAR (LETTER HOME) (© John MacLean 2004; dedicated to Porter Rathmell and Johnny Painter) 
 Dear Sally I just came in from patrol
 And now it's quarter past four
 I hope you're sleeping safely tonight
 I don't sleep much anymore
 If I could I would reach out and hold you
 And whisper what's inside my head
 I'm sending good soldiers to their desert deaths
 And I'm wishing it were me instead

Three boys gave up their lives tonight
And a brave young girl makes it four
We're right back where we started a lifetime ago
In another liar's war

I'm thinking of my brother William
He died leading his men tough and true
And while it's now been more than 35 years
His passing tonight feels brand new
He died in a long ago Asian war
But now more have died on the way
Down a long bloody road that ends right here
But began back in Cam Ran Bay

Three boys gave up their lives tonight
And a brave young girl makes it four
We're right back where we started a lifetime ago
In another liar's war

You know best how proud I have been to serve
Thirty years in a tangible way
And to honor my brother's sacrifice
In that rice field an ocean away
But my proud serving days are over
There's no honor in burying men
For those who chose to start this war
But chose not to fight back then

Three boys gave up their lives tonight
And a brave young girl makes it four
We're right back where we started a lifetime ago
In another liar's war

Three boys lost their lives tonight
That young girl she died too
I miss you Sally so much tonight
And I wish I were there with you
Song List

NEW AMERICAN WAY (© John MacLean 2005)
You need not say a single word
I can read your angry eyes
Yes I've had a drink or two
With all the day shift guys
Indeed we closed down Ernie's
In a most rememberable way
With bitter words we made our toast
To the new American way

I've raised my glass forty years or more
To brides and newborn babes
Tonight I hurled it to the floor
They stole our dream today

At Nine A.M. those Boston brats
Shut this old factory down
That was just the first mean blow
They laid on this old factory town
They're parsing out but two weeks pay
For all our years of sweat
We asked about our pensions
No answer did we get

I've raised my glass forty years or more
To brides and newborn babes
Tonight I hurled it to the floor
They stole our dream today

We drove four hours to corporate towers
To ask our so called bosses
To reconcile their new found gains
With our profound new losses
But Ammerman, McGrath, and Potter
Hid from Jimmy, Jenny, and me
While a stiff and stammering Boston cop
Marched us back down to the street

Jimmie Lamore turns sixty-four
With no retirement pay
Charlie Hall who's lived here all
His years tomorrow will say
There is no future here my son
You must move away
And as for you and me, my dear
They stole our dream today

I've raised my glass forty years or more
To brides and newborn babes
Tonight I raised then hurled it down
To the new American way
Song List

STILL WATERS (© John MacLean 2004)
They named their child Grace Frances
Last born shy little girl
Surrounded by words she mostly watched
And kept to her own quiet world
Alone on a pond, cold moon lit nights
Was one place her dreams rang out clear
Though her silvery skates whispering on ice
Was the only sound you could hear

Chorus
We rush through our days never seeing
Those who their own counsel best keep
Just remember while rivers at times rush and roar
Still waters are what run most deep

Well childhood dreams get faded
And for some that's the end of the road
But Grace Francis just turned to the future
And took on her real life's load
You might think she chose the wrong line of work
So full of loud classrooms and all
But she loves to hear children cry out their joy
And they love to heed her soft call

Chorus

Quiet, firm, and determined
Do not every man's interest keep
But beneath all that fearsome beauty
Lies a beauty much more than skin deep
Later than most do she married
And the girls get their voices from John
But you know when those two are sad at night
It's her voice they depend upon

Chorus

You can waste half your lifetime looking
For the one who will bring your heart peace
So remember while rivers at times rush and roar
Still waters are what run most deep
Song List

SWEET ADDICTION (© John MacLean 2004)
Sweet addiction be my partner
Come with me into the night
In the shelter of your shadow
I pretend all is all right
Dear Attendant be my consort
In these hours that bring you here
I have need of your affection
Of diversion from my fear

Damned demon drown my yearning
For the dreams that will not be
Dull my mind from all the burning
Blind my eyes so they won't see

Suave accomplice stay my searching
For the road I dare not take
Still my pleas for final parting
I do not care to make
Dear companion bring me comfort
Take my hand and take me deep
In the silence of our landing
I can taste my final sleep

Deadly demon drive me crazy
Take me on your swirling flight
Cut the pain of knowing loved ones
Once again stand watch tonight

Sweet addiction bring me comfort
Take my hand and take me deep
In the silence of our landing
I can taste my final sleep
Song List

TROUBLESOME DAUGHTERS (© John MacLean 2004, with tongue firmly in cheek)
Troublesome daughters, a demanding wife
Whatever happened to my bachelor life?
Even on vacation I'm always on call
I surely am shackled to that old chain and ball

Always I hear their constant demands
Diverting my focus from the pleasure at hand
When I ask for time to read the comics or sports
My wife and my daughters just laugh, sneer, and snort

Oops, here they are coming with blood in their eyes
They just heard me whining and I think I'm 'bout to die
Cause my wife holds down two jobs and my girls work real hard
While I write sad songs and go out to bars

I confess it is true they make few demands
And 'til they just heard me I was a most lucky man
But now they just declared they've had enough of me
And they've locked me outside without even a key

Yes now they have declared they've had enough of me
There's nary a chance I'll get back that key
Cause my wife holds down two jobs and my girls work real hard
While I write sad songs and go out to bars
Song List

WINTER'S TALE (© John MacLean 2006)
She stands at winter window
And stares out through the years
Well past holding grudges
She's conquered all her fears
Winter's sun, pale yellow
Lies kind upon her face
Of regret, life's last joker
The light reveals no trace

But still she feels a longing
Born in dreams of youth
As she surveys roads not taken
And the shifting sands of truth

First love long forsaken
Children's time long past
She was offered constant love
Settled peace at last
And if, as on this winter's day
The heat is less intense
It's not that life goes unfulfilled
In truth it makes more sense

But still she feels a longing
Born in dreams of youth
As she recalls roads not taken
And the shifting sands of truth
Song List